This much [by Ben]

About two decades ago, I was reading a book of advice given from a father to his son. Each page had one short snippet of advice. One of them that I read really stuck with me. It was: "Come up with a way to tell your wife that you love her from across a crowded room." I thought a lot about how you could do that, and couldn't come up with anything, but the thought stuck with me.

One night, James and I were talking as I tucked him in, and he was telling me that he loved me "this much" and held his arms out as far as he could. I immediately recalled having similar discussions with my dad when I was a kid. Because he could always make his arms wider than mine, I had to come up with a way to show him that I loved him more than he loved me. I told my dad that I loved him "this much" and put my fingers right next to each other, barely crossed. He was confused, expecting me to make an even bigger stretch of my arms. I told him that I loved him from thumb, all the way around the whole world, and back to my finger. We had repeated this for years, though not made it a formal expression of love.

So when James told me that he loved me "this much", I showed him the same squeeze of my fingers making the space as small as possible. He giggled, and I repeated it night after night. It became so routine, and so I decided to make that my way to tell him without any words that I loved him 'this much.' We kept it up for years, and did the same for each of our kids. It has become a standard in our home now. The kids will all stand in the window and do it whenever Nicki or I leave the house. James will do it on his way into school. Avery does it from her bed every night and Briella does it whenever she is saying goodbye or goodnight. We don't have to say anything, just hold up our fingers and the kids know.

Kids, I love you THIS MUCH!